Learningon

So, how was your summer?
I had a lovely one, and enjoying the last day. [today]
Is any one looking forword to the beautiful school year? Me? No, not really, maybe, sure, ok, I give up. I will stop boring you with me rambilings so, how about some…

…JOKES!!!!!!!!!!

#1 Attorney: “At the scene of the accident, did you tell the constable you had never felt better in your life?”

Farmer: “That’s right.”

Attorney: “Well, then, how is it that you are now claiming you were seriously injured when my client’s auto hit your wagon?”

Farmer: “When the constable arrived, he went over to my horse, who had a broken leg, and shot him. Then he went over to Rover, my dog, who was all banged up, and shot him. When he asked me how I felt, I just thought under the circumstances, it was a wise choice of words to say I’ve never felt better in my life.”

#2 One sunny day in 2008, an old man approached the White House from across
Pennsylvania Avenue, where he’d been sitting on a park bench.

He spoke to the Marine standing guard and said, “I would like to go in
and meet with President Hillary Clinton.”

The Marine replied, “Sir, Mrs. Clinton is not President and doesn’t
reside here.”

The old man said, “Okay,” and walked away.

The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to
the same Marine, “I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary
Clinton”.

The Marine again told the man, “Sir, as I said yesterday, Mrs. Clinton
is not President and doesn’t reside here.”

The man thanked him and again walked away . .

The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the
very same Marine, saying “I would like to go in and meet with President
Hillary Clinton.”

The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and
said, “Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to
speak to Mrs. Clinton. I’ve told you already several times that Mrs.
Clinton is not the President and doesn’t reside here. Don’t you
understand?”

The old man answered, “Oh, I understand you fine, I just love hearing
your answer!”

The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, “See you tomorrow Sir.”

#3 Wanda’s dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman.
Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the
repairman, “I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the
dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you
a check.
“Oh, by the way, don’t worry about my bulldog. He won’t
bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY
circumstances, talk to my parrot! I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO
MY PARROT!!!”

When the repairman arrived at Wanda’s apartment the
following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest-looking
bulldog he had ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog
just lay there on the carpet, watching the repairman go
about his work.
The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his
incessant yelling and name calling. Finally, the repairman
couldn’t contain himself any longer and yelled, “Be quiet,
crazy bird!”

To which the parrot replied, “Get him, Spike!”

Filed by learningon at 8:59 p08 under jokes, silly, My thoughts, fun!
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